Roger Bennett's Midnight Meditations

Missing Roger

5 years ago today, which also happened to be a Saturday, I said my earthly goodbyes to Roger, and my entire world changed in an instant. As I let him go, I remember telling him "Don't Be Afraid", and those words have echoed in my head for several days. I also remember telling him that we would be okay, and that has been true. But, the struggle comes with trying to rise above "okay". Roger was my bedrock; a strong foundation for our lives here on earth. It seems like things started crumbling when he left us behind.

Nevertheless, I am eternally grateful for the strong foundation that God has given me/us. I would be nowhere without His guidance and love in my life.

I miss Roger more today than I did 5 years ago. I know that we had said everything to each other that we needed to say before he went Home. It's the 5 years since that I long to be able to talk to him about now. I miss those conversations. I miss being able to share my feelings with him, and know without a doubt that they were safe there. I miss that connection, that intangible "something" that made me know what he was thinking, and when he was up to something! I miss his funny ways, the way he made us all laugh. I miss his serious ways, and the way he seemed to be on a mission those last months of his life, to share Jesus with everyone he came in contact with. What an example he left us all.

I know that I will always miss my Roger, and that I am not alone. You can not know what comfort it gives me, and my family, to know that he was, and still is, an influence in so many lives. Even now, I am blessed with "Roger stories" from so many, telling me what he did, or said to them that inspired them. He had a true gift of encouragement.

So, on this day of remembering, I want to remember all of the good times, and wait patiently on the day we will all be reunited with our loved ones who have gone on before us. Happy St. Patrick's Day. I am going to make one of Roger's favorite Irish desserts, "Banoffee" and enjoy it, as I know he would have!

Grief may rear its head periodically, but we have a Comforter Who holds us tenderly

In His Grip!
Debbie

Some Progress

I am heading to Arkansas today for a few days.....after 4 WEEKS in the hospital, Daddy finally got to come home this weekend! Yea! He has different home health care workers visiting him, and that's a help to my mom, for sure. We are praying that his blood pressure stays up enough so that he can remain home. Apparently, he had some problem with his adrenal glands, for one thing. They produce adrenaline (naturally) and cortisol, which keep the blood pressure up. When they have been damaged, it takes a while to get them kick-started again. We are hoping that his confusion will lessen, being at home in a more familiar place. So, I think we will spend the week rearranging some rooms to make it easier for him to get around. Mom stays very busy caring for him, so I need to think of some good things to make for the freezer, too!

I am constantly reminded of the fact that God loves us, and cares about the small details in our lives, as well as the big ones. Every time I think life gets just too hard to bear, He shows me in very tangible ways that He is close by. It is such a comfort to know that He is in charge. Each time I forget that, it doesn't take very long to remember that I just can't do it on my own. Praise God that I don't have to!!!

In the coming posts, I am going to be sharing some of Roger's own words. March 10 would have been his 53rd birthday, and March 17 will be 5 years since he got his Heavenly promotion. I can't believe it has been 5 years. Some days, it seems like it was just yesterday, and other days, it seems like an entire lifetime has passed. Life has certainly been changed for those of us left behind. This time of year is difficult to maneuver, but God is good; He is faithful; and He holds us lovingly

In His Grip!
Debbie