5 years ago today, which also happened to be a Saturday, I said my earthly goodbyes to Roger, and my entire world changed in an instant. As I let him go, I remember telling him "Don't Be Afraid", and those words have echoed in my head for several days. I also remember telling him that we would be okay, and that has been true. But, the struggle comes with trying to rise above "okay". Roger was my bedrock; a strong foundation for our lives here on earth. It seems like things started crumbling when he left us behind.
Nevertheless, I am eternally grateful for the strong foundation that God has given me/us. I would be nowhere without His guidance and love in my life.
I miss Roger more today than I did 5 years ago. I know that we had said everything to each other that we needed to say before he went Home. It's the 5 years since that I long to be able to talk to him about now. I miss those conversations. I miss being able to share my feelings with him, and know without a doubt that they were safe there. I miss that connection, that intangible "something" that made me know what he was thinking, and when he was up to something! I miss his funny ways, the way he made us all laugh. I miss his serious ways, and the way he seemed to be on a mission those last months of his life, to share Jesus with everyone he came in contact with. What an example he left us all.
I know that I will always miss my Roger, and that I am not alone. You can not know what comfort it gives me, and my family, to know that he was, and still is, an influence in so many lives. Even now, I am blessed with "Roger stories" from so many, telling me what he did, or said to them that inspired them. He had a true gift of encouragement.
So, on this day of remembering, I want to remember all of the good times, and wait patiently on the day we will all be reunited with our loved ones who have gone on before us. Happy St. Patrick's Day. I am going to make one of Roger's favorite Irish desserts, "Banoffee" and enjoy it, as I know he would have!
Grief may rear its head periodically, but we have a Comforter Who holds us tenderly
In His Grip!