I'm Still Here

Boy, there have been a lot of things happening since my last post. Daddy spent a day over 4 weeks in the hospital again. He did get to come home over the weekend, but with hospice this time. Mom and my brother Bobby have set up his hospital bed where he can get a lot of natural light, and they are taking good care of him. God sent a blessing in the form of a member of Mom's church who will come and sit with Daddy a few hours each week, so she can get some things done for herself; she hasn't had that luxury in quite some time.

I was supposed to go down there again last week, but the day before I was to leave, I began to get sick and run a temperature. After two visits to a walk-in clinic in two days, I was finally diagnosed with Strep throat, and given medicine for that. Still, I wasn't getting better, and by Friday, when my fever had reached almost 104, I headed to the ER, and was admitted to the hospital with pneumonia. I have NO idea where that came from; I've never had it before! Anyway, I came home on Sunday, and have spent this day resting (after taking a shower this morning just about wore me out!). I go to the doctor tomorrow to get some lab and culture results that were still pending when I left the hospital. My temp started to climb last night, and it scared me, but today has been better. I am desperately hoping that I feel well enough to have Isaiah this weekend; I miss that little guy so much! I called him tonight, the first time I have talked to him in a week (I also lost my voice, and have been hard to understand for the past 5 days [and I could almost hear a comment from Roger about that]), and it was amazing how that little voice could make me feel so much better!

I had the privilege of speaking at a benefit concert a couple of weeks ago. A very good friend of mine is starting a respite program at her church just north of Nashville. It will be a place of love where caregivers can bring their loved ones with Alzheimer's, dementia, and other incapacitating adult diseases, while they have a chance to take care of themselves, their homes, their errands, etc. They will also have special care in place so that families can attend church, something that is very difficult for most people in this situation.  I spoke about what it would mean to a caregiver to have that kind of time. I wish there had been some sort of program for my parents like that, while Daddy was able to attend. It's amazing to see how a different face can spark a conversation, when sometimes the familiar can't. We are praying for this program, called "The Veranda", to be an example to us, and to other churches to do the same. The Bible commands us to honor and respect our parents, and the elderly. Many churches provide programs for everyone in the church BUT the elderly, except for a monthly potluck for those who are healthy enough to attend. But, there is a vast commnunity of the elderly who still need our love and care, too. They still have a lot to give us, if we will just take the time to see through the disease that has taken over.

The last time I was in AR, Daddy never said my name all week. One day, though, the hosptial chaplain came in and Daddy told him I was his only daughter. Then, when the doctor came in, he told him I was his favorite daughter (never mind I am the only one, I will take it!). Even when he didn't really know who I was, he still reached for my hand to hold, and the last thing he said to me before I left was, "I love you". Those are memories that will be forever in my heart, and even though all of the travel and schedule-juggling is tough, I wouldn't trade anything for those times.

If you are blessed to be a caregiver, in any capacity, you have a special calling. I know how tiring it is. I know how frustrating it can be. I know how emotions can be very confusing at times. But, look for those moments when the person you know peeks out and smiles at you. They wouldn't choose this kind of life, if they had the choice, nor would they mean to be a burden on you. Choose to look for those blessings, and hold them in your heart. True love never dies.

God loves us all. He cares about our burdens. He wants to make us whole. While we wait on a perfect eternity, we can rest assured that we are held lovingly

In His Grip!
Debbie

Comments

[Margaret and Jim Smith]

Hi Debbie!
Still remembering you in Northern Ireland!!
Margaret and Jim Smith

[Becky]

Debbie,
Thanks for the wonderful post. I have a sister who has been caring for our mom in her home for over 15 years!!!!!!!!!!! I try and give her some little things every once in a while...like a Southern Gosple DVD, etc. When our dad was dying and most everything had left him he still so enjoyed listening to Southern Gosple Videos; just sitting with a loved one and listening to that good music can so lift the spirit of the care giver and the one cared for. Parents, grand parents, can be such a treasure. Pray you are doing well. I also had the crud for two whole weeks...it is some nasty stuff this year!

[Rebecca Gardiner]

Hi Debbie,
Thank you so much for the update. I can definately relate in some sort of way when it comes to caretaking. My brother has autism, and I am continually having to step up and help take care of him. I know it's hard, but it is definately worth it.
Continually praying for you and your family!

[Patty Spicer]

Could not help but think of the song that is out now talking about a mother who has dementia and she may not remember her children's name but you metion the name of Jesus and she can tell you all about him. My daddy had the disease and I can remember the last time I really heard him speak anything at all we were in a doctor's offce and the doctor asked him who was President at the time and he gave the wrong answer but when the doctor asked him who my mother or I was he would look at him as if the doctor was the crazy one and he would say that is my wife and daughter. Think about you often and when some of the Legacy Five's songs come on the radio I can still see Roger playing the piano and singing from his heart. I really miss the Cathdrals. Those guys were something else and they had a testimony to sing about

[C turnbull]

Debbie,
So sorry you have been ill. Hope you are on the mend. You have a lot on your plate as they say. Hang in there and cling to the one who holds today and tomorrow. Our family lost a loved one this morning. We know what is involved with caring for a sick family member. Prayers for you and all your loved ones.
Cheryl/Lenexa KS

[Dixie]

Debbie,

I just read your post, and it brought tears to my eyes. It is so hard to see those you love become so ill. My sister and I cared for our mom and dad and know that it is very difficult. The physical aspect is tough but the emotional part when they look at you with no recognition,it tears the heart out of you. Our mom passed away in Dec of 2007 and dad passed away in Jan of 2011. We still miss them so much, and would gladly do it all over again.

I enjoy your posts so much and am sorry for all of the trials you have been going through. I have never met you but I feel I know you. When attending Legacy Five concerts, I still miss Roger.

I will remember you in my prayers. You are a very special lady,Roger would be proud of you.

[Shanna Locker]

You post was wonderful. As we get older so many of us can, in some way, say, "been there, done that" when speaking of caring for elderly family members. It is so difficult when disease robs them of recognition of their family. I'm not sure who it's harder on, the person or the family member who they don't recognize...I'm inclined to believe it's harder on the family member. I watched my Aunt cry because my grandma -who suffered a stroke- could not tell her who she was or what her name was. Won't it be wonderful when this verse becomes reality? "And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away." What a day that will be!! Take care of yourself Debbie! ~Shanna~ Idaho

[Charlene Edmonson]

Dear Debbie;
I HOPE YOU ARE CONTINUING TO FEEL BETTER. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF SO YOU CAN SPEND TIME WITH THOSE YOU LOVE SO MUCH.
I AM YOUR UT FAN A D AM IN REHAB AFFER A TOTAL KNEE REPLACEMENT. I AM DETERMINED TO MAKE IT TO NATIONSL THIS YEAR. I COULD NOT LEAVE MY MOTHER LAST YEAR. AFTER BEING HER CAREGIVER FOR OVER TEN YRARS GOD CSLLED HER HOME IN DEC. YOU ARE SO RIGHT ABOUT MISSING THEM BUT I AM SO HAPPY SHE IS NOW OUT OF THE SUFFERING SHE WENT THROUGH. LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING YOU IN SEPT. MY PRAYERS WILL BE WITH YOU. I HAVE MY PORTABLE DVD PLAYER AND MY GOSPEL DVD'S AND YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE THE QUESTIONS THESE UTAH PEOPLE HAVE ABOUT TBE GOSPEL MUSIC. I LOVE EXPOSING THEM TO IT.

GOD'S BLESSINGS TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY
UTAH GOSPEL GRAMMY CHARLENE

[glyndene deaton]

Praying you are feeling much better by now and will soon feel like coming to Ar.
I saw your Mom @ Kroger's this week and she looked good, maybe a little tired but we had a good visit. She is such a friendly lady. I really enjoy talking to her.
Take care of yourself and God Bless you.
Love ya lots.
Glyndene & Bobby

[C turnbull]

Happy Mother's Day

[Becky]

Happy Belated Mother's Day. Hope you got to spend yours with your little Isaiah and were able to connect with your mom and kids too.
Becky In Wisconsin

[carmen]

Take care of u!

[Barb]

Debbie
I just got home after spending 2 weeks as caregiver for my Mom who has alzheimers. So many tears shed on the way home as I drove. So hard seeing her have to live like this. She is the most wonderful Christian Mom, I am so Blessed.

[Laura]

Debbie,

Thank you for your post even though you are sick! Your words were beautiful and helped all of us who are caregivers to take a deep breath and hold on to the One who is in control.

You are such a blessing to all of us and always have something special to remind us of Whose we are and to keep on keeping on!

I hope by now you are feeling much better and that things are going well!

Blessings and prayers,

Laura

[connie nicholl]

I needed to hear the words you wrote about being the caregiver. With my mom's diagnoisis of Alzheimer's it's been hard to see you slip into this fog. she's scared as she knows something is wrong and feels the fog. Feeling scared myself till I read your words. Thank you. bless you.

[connie nicholl]

ha read my post *you should have been her but lol I am sure sometimes you may feel like your in a fog when times are rough. blessings