Happy 31st anniversary, Roger! December 17, 1981, we were married on a cold Thursday in Walnut Ridge, AR, in the very chapel where we first met. It has been 6 years now since I've gotten to say those words to him in person, and I really miss doing so. 2012 has been the toughest year I've had since he left us 5 years, 9 months ago today. I have missed my rock; missed someone "having my back"; missed those hugs and a hand to hold; missed the laughter, the ups, and even the downs.
But, in reflecting on those 25 years, 3 months we had as husband and wife, I am reminded of all of the lessons we learned together during that time. Life was not always easy, but it was much easier when the burdens were shared. It was also exponentially richer for having someone to share the blessings with. Learning how to weather life's storms together laid a foundation that has been solid for me during times when loneliness threatened to overwhelm me. Recalling the strength of a loving partner, who, while faced with the biggest adversity of all, still managed to smile and trust God for his daily needs, and reach out to others in the midst of his own pain, makes me know that the problems I face are not insurmountable. Knowing Who holds the future calms the storms of our everyday lives.
Roger and I wrote a song together, that, while not one of the most "popular" ever sung, has always held a special place for me; it is the cry of a lonely heart, and the joy of the Christian in knowing that we are never alone. I will include the words to the song at the end of this post.
We are gearing up for a houseful of family and friends for Christmas, and I am very much looking forward to it. I have Isaiah this weekend, as well as welcoming my brother's daughter and her husband and 2 year old daughter. My mother, a second brother, and Roger's dad are coming up on Saturday as well, and staying through Christmas. Jordan and Jessica are leaving California on Friday evening, and driving to Tennessee - with no stops - bringing their two dogs (oh, to be that young and full of adventure!), and staying through New Year's. I can't wait to have my family surrounding me, while we remember the true meaning of this special season. For that is what all of the hustle and bustle this time of year is about. As we scurry around, gathering all we think we need and want to make a perfect day; as we experience frustration with long lines and short tempers; as we search for the "one thing" we still look for to complete a list.........remember the busy streets of Bethlehem that day long ago; the long lines with no cell phones to keep connected; the search for a place to lay a weary head; the ONE THING that made everything in the world complete.........Unto us a SAVIOR is born, which is Christ the Lord! And, just as He came as a tiny baby in a manger to a world that was searching all those years ago, He is still here today. He is still the answer for the questions we have in the midst of life's inexplicable tragedies. He was, He is, and He will always be. And we are still held
In His Grip!
Debbie
He's Been There
I have been helpless,
I have been helpful,
I have been useless,
I have been used,
I have flown on the wings of the morning,
I have descended to a dark lonely place.
He's been there,
In good times and bad times,
He's been there,
When I could not carry on,
My Lord's been there,
When my heart had no words,
The loving Father still heard,
I've never been alone,
For He's been there.
I do not know the things you are facing,
Battles ahead or victories to win,
But I can tell you His love never faileth,
Jesus is always a compassionate friend.
He's been there,
In good times and bad times,
He's been there,
When I could not carry on,
My Lord's been there,
When my heart had no words,
The loving Father still heard,
I've never been alone,
For He's been there.
He's been holding me up when I stumble,
Guiding my feet in the night,
He's been there,
When my heart had no words,
The loving Father still heard,
I've never been alone,
For He's been there.
I've never been alone,
For He's been there.
(copyrighted material)
Thank you, once again, for sharing your heart. I wish you and Roger could of had many more years together, but for some reason God called him home. Praying for you. You are a picture of God's strength and peace in trying times. I'm so glad you are going to be surrounded by family this Christmas season. Blessings!
Posted by: Shirl Jenkins | December 17, 2012 at 11:17 AM
As I read through the words of your song, I can hear the fellows singing it...So meaningful and true. He's always there for us in the good times and the bad. God bless you richly, Debbie, as you celebrate the birth of our Saviour with your family and loved ones. You are much loved.
Posted by: Joy Stewart | December 17, 2012 at 12:00 PM
Thanks for reminding me of one of my favorite songs!! Now I need to go listen to it... Your post is beautiful and really shares your heat - thank you! Merry Christmas to you!! ~Shanna~
Posted by: Shanna Locker | December 17, 2012 at 12:54 PM
Your posts never fail to lift me up when I need it. In light of the recent happenings in CT, we all need to be reminded He is still with us. Thank you, Debbie, and Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Posted by: Bev Hatch | December 17, 2012 at 01:18 PM
That song is one of my favorite as well .. really speaks to me and comforts me in trying times ...Merry Christmas Debbie ... Marilyn, MArysville, WA
Posted by: Marilyn N. | December 17, 2012 at 06:52 PM
Debbie,
I was blessed by what you had to say today.I was also very happy for you that you are going to be surrounded by family.That is what makes Christmas what it is.The very heart of Christ is family. He loves his children so much he gave his life for them. Can't get anymore family than that. Make some memories this holiday season Debbie. Especially with Isiah. He will cherish them always.
Merry Merry Christmas, Linda
Posted by: Linda | December 17, 2012 at 07:10 PM
Debbie, Merry Christmas! Always enjoy your posts and today's is precious. I'm so thankful you will have a bustling, noisy household for Christmas. I have read Facebook posts showing the twenty children murdered on Friday in heaven with Jesus. Somehow my mind is taking the image a step further since reading your post and I can envision Roger welcoming those precious babies, hugging them, smiling from ear to ear, making them feel at home and assuring them they in the absolutely best place possible!! It's easy to feel homesick for heaven, isn't it? Please never stop posting!!
Posted by: Karen Hopkins | December 17, 2012 at 09:31 PM
Your words are truly a blessing. Pray for me while I am enduring loss and being lonely as well.
Posted by: Carmen | December 18, 2012 at 10:49 AM
Carmen,
I am lifting you up in prayer. For some reason your email spoke directly to my heart. Please know that God is holding your hand and you are held firmly in his grip. Lord bless you, Linda
Hope it was ok Deb to respond to this dear ladys email here.I felt she needed to know someone loves her.
Posted by: Linda | December 18, 2012 at 09:23 PM
Merry Christmas Debbie and all the Bennett family...
So glad your house will be bustling with family. Treasure every minute and make wonderful memories. Thanks for sharing your heart, you are a blessing to me. Glad to see a post today.
God is love...
Cheryl/Lenexa KS
Posted by: C turnbull | December 18, 2012 at 10:51 PM
DEBBIE,
I am so excited your house will be full of love and excitment during the Christmas season this yr. I just want to thank you for a the words of encouragment you have given to all of us even on the times it took everything in you just to post. You are such an amazing lady and have touched more lives than you know. May God Bless and Keep you, keep posting and have a Very Merry Christmas. Love your KY friend,
Becky
Posted by: [email protected] | December 19, 2012 at 09:58 AM
Debbie, thank you for sharing your heart in this post. I hope you have an incredible Christmas. (By the way, that song is one of my favorite L5 songs ;) )
Posted by: Rebecca Gardiner | December 19, 2012 at 03:41 PM
Hi Debbie and Merry Christmas,
Your words mean so much and I too am so glad you will have a house full of LOVE and loved ones.
Ann
Posted by: Ann Woodward | December 20, 2012 at 12:39 AM
Thank you for another great post. So happy that your family will be together for the Christmas holiday. Have a very blessed Christmas. Love & Blessings, Gladys
Posted by: Gladys Perry | December 21, 2012 at 07:47 PM
Debbie,
Thank you very much for continuing to share with us. I look so forward to hear how you are doing. God Bless You and Your family!
Linda
Posted by: Linda L. Hodges | December 28, 2012 at 06:35 PM
Thank you for your recent post, Debbie! You just don't know what your posts mean to us - you say just the right thing at the right time, which is being used to encourage folks you'll never meet this side of Heaven. I know Roger is having such a good time in Heaven with all those recent children. He is so missed here. Take care and enjoy all those family members and noise taking residence in your home during these days. Much love sent your way. Blessings!!!
Posted by: Wilda | December 29, 2012 at 12:39 PM
Happy New Year Debbie.
Hope 2013 will hold the very best for you and yours. We all have a clean slate to start a fresh and to draw closer to our Lord and Savior.
May you have blessings in abundance.
Love and Prayers,
Judy Hicks
Posted by: JUDY HICKS | January 01, 2013 at 12:27 AM
Happy New Year Debbie,
May this be the brightest and best in all God has for you.
Blessings, Linda
Posted by: Linda | January 01, 2013 at 10:11 AM
Happy New Year Debbie! I hope you had a wonderful Christmas with your family. Wishing you a great year. Please keep posting, it means so much to me. So many of us are struggling and your posts are uplifting to us.
You are loved.
Barb
Posted by: Barb | January 02, 2013 at 09:26 PM
Hi Debbie,
Went to Roswell Street the 4th of January....They were wonderful as usual....Still get teary when they come in without Roger. Trey is very very good as is the new bass. It was a very relaxing and spirit filled evening.
Hope all is well with you and yours, also that you have had a great holiday season.
Miss you,
Judy Hicks
Posted by: JUDY HICKS | January 14, 2013 at 12:07 PM
Hi Debbie,
Just wanted to let you know that you are loved and missed. I hope all is well with you and yours.
Love and prayers,
Judy Hicks
Posted by: JUDY HICKS | January 29, 2013 at 01:32 PM
Yooooooo Hooooooo
Just wanted to let you know you're missed!
Hoping you are doing well!
Thank you for blogging your thoughts and ideas and prayers!
Blessings for today!
A friend in BC
Posted by: Aleta | January 30, 2013 at 10:37 AM
Yes, your posts are missed by many!! I miss them very much and hope and pray that you are doing okay.
Posted by: Wanda Moran | January 31, 2013 at 10:43 PM
Debbie, Hope all is well with you and your family. When we don't hear from you, your "blog" family becomes concerned. Are prayers are with you. Love, Karen
Posted by: Karen Hopkins | February 02, 2013 at 11:51 PM
Thank you for sharing such a heartfelt part of your life. I really appreciate taking a look into a relationship that has lasted for so long and it definitely gives my husband and I something to strive for. We just celebrated our 4th anniversary and he surprised me with some of the most touching anniversary gifts, which mean so much because of his love. Hopefully we reach the same amazing benchmark you have!
Posted by: Molly Stevens | March 01, 2013 at 09:47 AM