Coming Out of Hibernation

Wow - it has been a long time since I wrote. It has been a long season of self-imposed silence for me. So much has happened in the months since I last posted, and for my lack of forthcoming, I apologize. I'm pretty adept at self-analysis, and I've been doing a lot of that. Couple that with the fact that I am afflicted with Seasonal Affective Disorder, that was worse this year than ever, and I decided to wait to write until I felt more like myself again. (For those who don't know what S.A.D. is, just call it "winter blues", but on steroids....) The promise of Spring is waking me from those doldrums. Actually, there have been many factors, and I've been just plain TIRED.  I'll try not to drone on and on, because it would take a book to write all that is on my mind. Last Monday, March 10, would have been Roger's 55th birthday. For those who follow me on Facebook, I posted a note about this. (You may "friend request" me on FB - Debbie Westbrook Bennett....but I only confirm if you tell me via message HOW you know me. There are a lot of dishonest people out there, and if I don't immediately recognize your name, I don't respond, sorry.) It is hard to imagine Rog at 55, but I know he would be just as handsome, just as personable, and every bit as lovable. Maybe a little more gray, but I always did like that! As Chelsea wrote, we probably would have had dinner out, gone to a movie, and then hung around Barnes & Noble. That was a party to him here on earth......imagine the party he has every day in Heaven! Following closely on the heels of March 10 comes March 17. I ceased celebrating St. Patrick's Day 7 years ago, when on that date in 2007, Roger left us for a much better place. Even though time passes, and you learn to survive, and function again, those significant dates bring a fresh pain. The last moments are re-lived, and no matter how hard you may try, those days just invite sadness. I've chosen to try to make a difference, rather than sit around moping all day. On the one year anniversary of Roger's home going, I was blessed to be able to join the ranks of volunteer courier for the National Marrow Donor Program, and 6 years later, I still enjoy being able to donate my time to helping others have a second chance at life. I am on a trip again on this date, this year, and it's a privilege to be able to mark this anniversary in this way. We all grieve differently, at our own pace, and in our own way. I'd like to encourage others in a period of grief to reach out to someone in some way. It truly helps, it feels good, and it's a great way to honor the life of someone you love. Roger's life here on earth was all about reaching out to others, and I know he would smile knowing his influence and his legacy live on. During my hiatus, there have been many highs and lows. I've experienced the loss of an aunt and an uncle, and two beloved pets. There have been stressful situations in relationships, another minor car accident (not my fault this time either - I seem to be a magnet!), and difficult decisions to ponder. HOWEVER, there have been blessings beyond measure at the same time. God has seen to that! As I stated, I still have the ability to courier, transporting life-giving cells. Also very dear to my heart, The Veranda is growing by leaps and bounds, with new friends joining constantly. While I don't get to be there the three days a week it is open, I try to go once weekly, and that varies due to travel, weather, etc. We moved into new quarters just before Christmas, and the joy of loving on those precious "seasoned citizens" is unspeakable. Please pray for our ministry, as we seek to expand into speaking engagements, and also as we deal with growth. I've made new, wonderful relationships, as well as maintaining the older ones, and I am never at a loss for friendship and love. I am so blessed! My children continue to thrive, and this Mom's heart is full of love, watching them live their lives. Chelsea blows my mind with her spiritual gifts, and while working an almost-full week at Mac Authority, she continues to lead in a shepherding/mentoring position 3 days a week at her church. I've seen tremendous things happening in her life, and I can't wait to see where God is leading her. She is living at home with me right now. (Two single women trying to keep up that big place - it's an adventure of its own!) Jordan and Jessica have recently moved to a different suburb of Los Angeles, and they keep so busy with their careers, it's hard to catch up to them. Chelsea and I got to spend Christmas in California this year with them, and Jessica's parents, and while it was different, it was so much fun! Isaiah will be 5 this summer (!!!) and is a delight. He is growing so fast, and has an incredible mind. I thank God all the time for allowing me to be a part of his life, and the bond between Chelsea and him is amazing.  Roger's dad, Doug, is doing well, although this harsh winter has kept him inside a lot, too. I know he is looking forward to Spring like the rest of us, and Cardinals baseball! So is my mom. She is spending some extended time visiting with her one remaining brother in Texas, and will go back and forth periodically, as she is able. She was sick for several weeks this winter, and has had a harder time bouncing back. I was able to go down and celebrate her 80th birthday with her in February, although the party we had planned for her got thwarted by icy weather. We will make that up to you, Mom! There is much more to relate, but enough is enough for now. Next time, I will write some meatier things, but for the present, an elaborate update will have to do. Please know that I cherish the comments, emails, FB posts, and, mostly the prayers that you send my way. Also, please understand that while I may have written more of the "blues" than I normally do, I am fine, and I am thankful for all of the blessings in my life. I've had a rough winter..... A lot of people have! But through it all, I have held fast to the comforting reassurance that I am held securely, lovingly IN HIS GRIP! Debbie 

Comments

[Wilda Gibson]

It's so good to read your blog for the first time in awhile. Today, I realized tomorrow's date of Roger's leaving us. I know he's enjoying Heaven and all its beauties, but we still miss him here!!!! Just a note to say that I love you and always wish the best for you... Have a good trip!!! Blessings....

[Shanna Locker]

Thanks for your post Debbie. My life is enriched by you. One day we will meet!!! ~Shanna~

[Bev Stellmacher]

Debbie, you a a remarkable women and Roger would be very proud of you. It must be a hard journey to go on without ones mate. I wish you many blessings and pray that God would give you strength each day and feel you with much love. Bev Stellmacher

[Jen]

I love reading your blog and seeing all the pictures. I can not figure out who Isaiah is?? I thought at first it was your grandson but I now don't think it is.

[Esther Thiem]

God bless you and heal your broken heart. We so loved Roger and his wonderful testimony. Praying for you as another year passes without your love one. I haven't lost a husband, but have lost a son. I know how the special days , birthdays, anniversary of a loved one passing effect someone. So thankful that we have a promise of seeing our loved ones again. Thanks for befriending me on Facebook. I love that picture of Roger you put up for his birthday. I stay busy by trying to help others during those times too and it really helps. God bless and keep your sweet family.

[Vicki Halchak]

Deb- welcome back to blogging. I missed you. I also feel that it is good for you to get all
Of your thoughts and blessings out on paper.
Roger was one of a kind. I miss our talks. Call me soon.
Love you friend.

[Evelyn Donahoe]

Welcome back! I have missed your posts on this site!
I also loved the picture of Roger;He was very special to me and we still enjoy playing the DVD's with Roger playing the piano. My husband suffers from memory loss and the one thing that calms him down in the evenings wanderings is gospel music.
So most nights finds us still enjoying Legacy Five and Cathredals.
Thanks again for keeping Roger's Midnight Meditations going!!!

[www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1851091918]

Hello Debbie....You are such a wonderful, giving person....I enjoy your FB posts so very much! I am so, sorry, though about your "blues"! Hope you are feeling better today!

[Wanda Mora]

Welcome back sweet Debbie. How I have missed your posts!! I think about you often and pray for you and can identify with you in the loss of Roger. My sweet husband passed away in July 1996 and still miss him. God is good!! Hang in there and hope those "blues" will lessen with time. Love you!!

[JUDY HICKS]

Welcome Back,
I knew you would post this week. I am glad that you are well. Sorry for all your losses since your last post. As always you are a blessing to all of us out here. Thanks for the update on the kids and your interests. It is good that you are able to continue the courier work along with the Veranda.
Prayers and Blessing Sweet Lady!
Judy Hicks

[Sarah]

So good to hear from you,Debbie. I have prayed for you during your time of quietness. I am so sorry you have not been well over the winter - I have a relative who suffers from SAD too.
Great to hear news of your family and wonderful to hear about Chelsea's ministry. May GOD lead her and bless her in her service for Him.
GOD bless you for your sweet spirit and example. Love from your UK sister in Christ, Sarah

[Rosie Kellendonk]

Hello Debbie,

I am not on Facebook, so I have been (im)patiently waiting to hear how you have been coming along :-) This is my first time writing, but it is so good to hear that you are well and hanging in there, although no doubt it has been very difficult to say the least. Please know that my prayers and thoughts have been with you so often over the years from here in chilly Canada, and I look forward to those times when you have a few minutes to update. Even having not met you personally, your writings are a blessing to me and many others, I'm sure. God bless you richly with His sweet presence and His love. Looking forward to hearing when Legacy Five will be coming to Ontario, Canada!

[C Stamey]

So glad to see you are back. Have looked so many times - I was surprised to see a post today. I do not know you personally so did not even try the Facebook thing but have followed Roger as far back as with Cathedrals and have posted on here before. My Dad died a little after Roger and your devotionals really helped. Thanks.

[Jane]

So glad to see this post. I am another one of your fans who has never met you personally, but I always get encouragement from your posts. Hope you have a great spring and summer.

[Margaret and Jim Smith]

Good to hear from you again. nice memories of seeing you on the emerald isle. Are you coming back?
M&J